Bianca at Play

Now I am back to letting songs express how I feel..... I have so much to say but its like I don't have the words for it and sometimes some things are better left unsaid. I have so many questions..... But I know I won't be able to get the answer to those anytime.

I feel blank but at the same time I feel frustrated. I feel hurt. I feel doubt. I feel shitty. I feel alone. I feel like crying. I feel like shouting. I feel like hitting something or someone. I feel..... lonely. I am just one big bowl of a mess on the inside.

My finger feels so weird. The mark is still there.... I still touch it not knowing that I am touching it because I know something is missing and something is not right.... But I guess as time passes by I will get used to it and the mark will finally fade. With time everything heals. Everything will be ok.

All those dreams and wishful thinking down the drain. When I think about it I just can't help but breakdown a bit. I just laugh it off and pretend that I'm okay.

This was one of the hardest decisions in my life but I need to give myself a break from everything. What once was perfect now fell apart.


I can do this. I can do this. I can do this.




My fingertips are holding onto the cracks in our foundation and I know that I should let go....