Bianca at Play

So as I say goodbye to August I say hello to September! Hopefully it will be a better month!


Also time to say goodbye to my dear Alabang. You have been my home since December and now I'm moving to a new one. Hello Rockwell! Are you readyyyy?? Hehe. Hoping that this new change will be a good one for me. I really wanna do well and show people what I am capable of. I guess I just have to keep on doing what I do and do it better :) POSITIVE VIBES! I'm scared and nervous because its a new store. Meaning new lights to get used to.


Also.... Reading a new book now. Perks of being a wallflower by Stephen Chbosky. I'm liking it :) Its just a short book but somehow I am having a hard time finishing it. I guess I don't have that much time. I wanna finish it as soon as I can so I can move on to another one or at least finish the other 3 books im reading. HAHA.




Okay. Thats about it. Time to read :)

Nothing much to say.

Will watch One Day with the boyfriend tomorrow :) Buuuut.. I'm not done with the book yet :/ this is what happens when you read 3 books at a time..... You don't finish anything! I am well aware that I'm already reading 3 books but I am still looking for another one to read. Somebody is cray cray. HAHA. Somebody stop me!!

Dress up this saturday at work is INDIANS. Its up my alley b*tches! I just have to dress how i normally dress and just add more feathers and more fringe. I think i have to wear this shirt again since its like indian-y? Geez. Outfit repeater! That shirt, shorts, fringe boots and add my hippie band plus some feather-y earrings ;) *indian yelling sound* The next day (sunday) is what I am not happy about.. HIP-HOP. -_- good grief. What the hell am I going to wear??? I don't even own sneakers. My feet hates closed shoes (except for doll shoes. HAHA!).

Loooooong weekend ahead. The family is going up to Baguio and I will rot here at home... ALONE. Of course I have work. I'm not like those regular people who have days off on the weekend. Oh well.. This is what I have to do to support..... ....Myself. HAHAHA! I need pretty things so I have to work for them pretty things :| gosh darn it!


Okay. Need to get ready for bed. Early bird tomorrow. Goodnight :)

i need my mom.

Hello there blogger.


I am fine now :) Everything is fine. Forget about those emo blog posts. Heehee.


UPDATE!

#1
Watched Crazy, Stupid, Love! Its like an awesome movie! It jumped up to my all time favorite movie list! Its number 3 now. 1 is Serendipity, 2 The Notebook and 3 Crazy, Stupid, Love :) You can't forget also the fact that Ryan Gosling is HOOOOOOT. But then I still see him as Noah from The Notebook. Why can't you and Rachel McAdams be together again? :( Anyhoo... I just super love the movie! I'll watch it over and over again :)

#2
Deactivated my Facebook and not regretting it at all! I do miss it..... But then I have this and twitter. Soooooo.. yeah. I just want to reactivate it again since I just took some photos this afternoon and I wanna make it my profile picture :/ LAME EXCUSE.

To answer your question I think its a yes. I really think we need a loooooooong time out. I need to let my heart rest first.

I guess time will tell if we are really are meant for each other or not..

To help you see

Nothing is better than this

And this everything we need

So is it over

Is it really

You're giving up so easily,

I thought you loved me more than this,

But go on and take it

Take it all with you

Don't look back

At this crumbling fool

Just take it all with my love

Take it all

Now I am just totally effing confused.


Talked to a Tita today about things.. She just gave me things to consider... Now I'm confused -_- But I think I know what my answer should be but.... Damn that BUT. *Sigh* What if you're it? But what if you're not? Btw, she likes you.

Okay moving on......

Why can't 2 year olds just sit there and smile? I guess they call it "Terrible Two's" for nothing. I just want to take a good picture of youuuuu!!!! STOP MOVING! Haha. Good thing 2 year olds are cute and im VERY patient ;)

Getting more responsibilities at work now. I think I need to step up a bit more. I want to prove that they could continue on giving me responsibilities and that I can handle them all :) So happy with what I'm doing (minus the client concerns -_-) Thank you Lord for giving me this opportunity :)


Now time for some catching up with my series!






The scars of your love remind me of us, they keep me thinking that we almost had it all...

Yes I can! I will try my very best! It won't be easy but I know I can. POSITIVE THOUGHTS!


I had a great day today :) I was out with a friend since prep :) Nice to just catch up and hang out.. We are now shopping for make-up which we hated years ago. Look at us! All grown up! Haha. Thanks dod :) I had fun! Talking apes = O_O haha! See you soon! I am still thinking about that damn primer! -_-

After that had dinner with Iah's family at BF for her dads birthday :) HAPPY BIRTHDAY TITO TING! Enjoy the iPad! Woohoooo! Now I also want one!!! :( I have known Iah's family for years now and even though I don't see them as often like before, they always make me feel welcome *heart* Whenever I'm there its like I still see them all the time. Thank you 20 Biyuleta! :) Thank you Iah and Kd for hanging out with me whenever I ask *blush* Heehee. *HUUUUG*

....

So I had been talking/thinking about you for quite some time now.. I couldn't help but think if you wanted the same thing. If you were just waiting for the right time.... Oh well.. No use thinking about that now since it already happened. I just have to move forward and stop thinking about things that are not important. I will just keep on hurting myself thinking about the past.

Need to move forward. One foot in front of the other then repeat! Left right left right. Slow and steady.





I cannot wake up in the morning without you on my mind. So you're gone and I'm haunted and I bet you are just fine..

So I got some big news from work. I just have to sit still and wait what will happen :) Its bittersweet to be honest -_- But until then.... I'm keeping my mouth shut.

Sooooo.. Busy busy day at work today. Well busy for a weekday. Not complaining! I'm actually happy that we're busy :)

 Got some new songs to listen to. Awesome. I need more!

I wonder how your doing? Does the people around you know? I know you don't like talking about feelings but I think you should. It's not healthy keeping everything inside. You know that.. I just hope you're okay.





In the darkness that surrounds me now, there is no peace of mind. Your careless words undo me,  leave the thought of us behind..

Well last night was a good night.

Had a funny night last night since Axl and J were pestering me to watch the August 5 episode of Bubble Gang. So i caved and watched it. GOOD LORD. It was freakin' funny! Especially the tag lines! That made my night :) I couldn't stop laughing! Michael V and Ogie!

Talking to my mom helps. I let her help me overcome whatever I'm currently feeling. I ask for her support every day. I love you mom. You are missed everyday. I know I haven't visited in a while. Just a bit busy and I think if I do visit alone I'll just breakdown. So maybe I will soon.. Thank you for helping me with everything everyday. I know you are also praying for me.

On a more lighter note.... Bought new shoes. Can you say Impulsive buying? Kd said she has 25% discount and immediately I said "OK!" then got the shoes and paid for them. HAHA. Its also the fault of Iah, for letting me know where there were. Oh well.. Thank you :) Retail therapy! And besides... I have been wanting them for quite sometime now. Hehe. Loveyouguys!

Here's to hoping that every night would be a good one for me. I'll try to lessen the emo nights because I know I won't be able to have emo free nights for a few weeks.





Ooh how am I gonna get over you? I'll be alright, just not tonight..

Kung kis.a ginapaminsar ko kung mahidlaw ko saimo.... Subong ya guro hidlaw pako kay bag.o palang mo.. Dipuga. Nabudlayan na gid ko ya. Ikaw ya? Budlayan ka man? O gusto mo gid ni?

Ano nalang gid himuon ko ya? Hibi nalang? Wala na gid ko gin himo kundi maghibi kung gab.i.. Ngaa? Kay nanuyugan ko... Di gid ko kasarang nga ako lang isa. Pro kilanlan ko gid ni. Kilanlan gid.




.....Budlay budlay ba.

The time of the day that i do not look forward to.


So here we go again.... Same sh*t happening every night.. Until when will this go on is my biggest question.. I have to be strong. I need to be strong.

There is not one bitter/mad bone in my body. Just seriously confused and frustrated. *sigh*

I can't find a full song to express how i feel.. Just bits and pieces. Oh well. Maybe what I'm feeling is unexplainable.

Its starting to rain now.. Wondering if it'll rain in my room tonight.. Hope your night is better than mine.



This time, I'm doing it my way.. This time, i'm finding out the hard way...

Now I am back to letting songs express how I feel..... I have so much to say but its like I don't have the words for it and sometimes some things are better left unsaid. I have so many questions..... But I know I won't be able to get the answer to those anytime.

I feel blank but at the same time I feel frustrated. I feel hurt. I feel doubt. I feel shitty. I feel alone. I feel like crying. I feel like shouting. I feel like hitting something or someone. I feel..... lonely. I am just one big bowl of a mess on the inside.

My finger feels so weird. The mark is still there.... I still touch it not knowing that I am touching it because I know something is missing and something is not right.... But I guess as time passes by I will get used to it and the mark will finally fade. With time everything heals. Everything will be ok.

All those dreams and wishful thinking down the drain. When I think about it I just can't help but breakdown a bit. I just laugh it off and pretend that I'm okay.

This was one of the hardest decisions in my life but I need to give myself a break from everything. What once was perfect now fell apart.


I can do this. I can do this. I can do this.




My fingertips are holding onto the cracks in our foundation and I know that I should let go....

I'm going to be ok. I'm sure you will be too.

Now what? 

Wasn't able to post pictures yesterday.. I was too busy watching Hell's Kitchen Season 1 :) I like it for some reason.. Gordon Ramsay is sooooo MEAN!! But then if he gives you a compliment on your cooking its like you're gonna cry out of happiness! HAHA!

A quiet day at the store because of the storm. We really had to keep ourselves busy with whatever we could find to do. Good thing its not a 0 day for us :) weeee!

She's so mean! HAHA!

Soooooo cold!

While we were busy taking photos.........

Axl was busy sorting our membership forms. Haha! Good job Axl! Sorry Kia..... You're the one that's not in the store this time:P haha!

Had such a good laugh with J and Axl about something. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I just remembered it again. ANG SAMA MO TEH! Ikaw na ang may pinakaevil na laugh!

Pleaseeeeee.

Please try and see what you're doing is wrong. It is wrong beyond words. Try and think for once in your life. Ok? Back off.


ktnxbye.

Goodbye July! Hello August :)

Ate Jen, Axl, Me & Kia

Brought MacDreamy with me to the office. Photobooth first! Sorry J........ you weren't there. Heehee. HUURAAAAHHH! We wont be poor on the 20th of August :) We are the sh*t b*tches! I love what I do! Though sometimes it can be really stressful -_- and I complain at times :/ but seeing cutie lidol babies everyday makes up for it <3 Also, it feels good to get compliments from our clients who appreciate what we do :) YOU ALL ROCK!

Cheeeeezy pizza! YUM!!

Since J was feeling extra nice today.. She bought us pizza from Sbarro for a job well done during July! Even though it was her off, she went to the store with her newly colored hair to deliver the pizza. HAHA! Too bad she wasn't there while we were munching and enjoying our pizza. Cheese cheese cheese! So yummy! We also had Auntie Anne's pretzels after :) happy happy day! happy happy way to start August :)